Mike Jones – Author


I Want to Own A Heron.

Hello.

My name is Mike Jones. I write. The purpose of this blog is to provide links to my work. My name seems far too common to properly Google and I can assure you that I am not a rapper. I’d also like to remind you that if you’ve been here before and everything looks the same to you, it might not be. I am sneaky that way. This is a strange sort of blog of my own doing and manipulation and as a result it will always be one simple page. No archives or any of that sort of thing. So scroll through, you might see something that you didn’t see the last time that you were here. Thanks for stopping by.

FICTION (In no particular order.)

Glimpses into Greatness: Word Sun Tan Champion, Lank Bronze – from Faiyo

Nahlednuti do slavy: Lank Bronze, mistr sveta v opalovani – (Czech Translation) – from Faiyo

Ken Kofola Was Good at Everything – from Word Riot

Petals Over People – from Faiyo

Vlada Okveti – (Czech Translation) – from Faiyo

Loudspeaker Psalms – from Faiyo

Tlampacove Psalms (Czech Translation) – from
Faiyo

Italia – from Faiyo

Italia (Czech Translation) – from Faiyo

The New Guy – from Faiyo

Novej Chlap – from Faiyo
*This is the Czech translation of my story “The New Guy”. So if you can read Czech, then you can read this. I can’t read Czech.

Gia – from Pequin

Fuck Machine – from Pequin

Random Excerpts From My New Line Of Travel Guides To Cities That I have Never Been To – from Monkeybicycle

Bevanurd Felladivity – from Juked

Excuse Me, Mr Jenkins? – from Word Riot

The Robot – from Hobart

Boris, King of the Unicycle! – from Juked

An Open Letter To My 22-Year-Old Self – from McSweeney’s

Bill Cosby’s Unused Dialogue As The Voice Of King Kong During The Final Confrontation On Top Of The Empire State Building In Peter Jackson’s King Kong – from McSweeney’s

Professor Richard Dawkins Speaks At Fair Hills Kindergarten Regarding Santa Claus, December 2nd, 2006 – from McSweeney’s

Pepsi X Energy Drink Review – from McSweeney’s
*Sorry, but I can’t link directly to the piece. If you want to see it, you’ll have to do some scrolling once you get there, or maybe just hold down the control button and press “f”. Then type in “Mike Jones”. That seems to work quite nicely.

Help – from McSweeney’s
*This is the same type of scrolling or “control” then “f” situation as the aforementioned piece.

Claw Game Manifesto – from Thieves Jargon

Hip Hop Ya Don’t Stop – from Wandering Army

Jimmy Stewart: It’s a Wonderful Sandwich – from Opium – (No longer archived)

NON FICTION

I’m currently writing for Tattoo Blog. It’s a great blog for those of you out there who have tattoos, are contemplating tattoos or who simply like tattoo art and related bits of news pertaining to the world of tattooing. My personal articles are available here.

How to Deal With Friends While Traveling – from Matador Abroad

The 10 Most Important Bands to See This Summer – from Matador Nights

Ten Great Film Festivals and One Stinkarooni – from Matador Nights

Why do Bad Things Happen to Good Travelers? – from Brave New Traveler

Living in Tokyo: A Guide for Expatriates on Surviving Culture Shock – from Transitions Abroad

How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Travel…Alone -from Brave New Traveler

Voices From the Economic Crisis: Vancouver – from Matador Life

Top 20 Skateparks in California – from Matador Travel

The Japanese Job Interview – from Transitions Abroad

Working in Japan: What to Expect in the Japanese Workplace – from Transitions Abroad

Top Ten Online Resources for Finding a Job in Asia – from Matador Travel

Panama City Beach – from Faiyo

Panama City Beach – (Czech translation) – from Faiyo

Malice Mizer/Visual Kei – from Faiyo

Hudba Malice Mizer (Czech translation) – from Faiyo

Les Savy Fav – from Faiyo

Dobre Casy Les Savy Fav – (Czech translation) – from Faiyo

An Irregular Refuge – from Japanzine

A “Starving Artist” interview I did. – from Japanzine

PRINT

My latest print publication will be available on October 7th, 2007. The story is Boris, King of the Unicycle! and the publication is called Jungle Crows: A Tokyo Expatriate Anthology.junglecover.jpgIt is put out by the nice people at Printed Matter Press and you can buy a copy directly from them by going to their website right now.

My story Roach V. Owl appeared in the The Duck & Herring Co.’s Pocket Field Guide for Fall 2005. Unfortunately, all copies are now sold out. Still, check out their site: Duck & Herring Co. They’ll probably have something else that you’ll enjoy.

If you’re in the mood for some sex themed stories, then grab a copy of Better Non Sequitur’s See You Next Tuesday Anthology. My story, Fuck Machine appears in the book and you can buy it directly from Better Non Sequitur by going here, or you can head over to Amazon and get it there.

SCREENWRITING

I’m slowly but surely attempting to perfect the art of screenwriting. My credits can be found at the Internet Movie Database

EXTRA STUFF

Here’s a video of me reading my story Boris, King of the Unicycle! at Ben’s Cafe in Takadanobaba, Tokyo. Sorry about the shoddy quality of the video.